


RARE: Werewolf Friendly Recipes

by LadyX, milkyway



Series: Stilinski's Encyclopaedia Of Werewolves [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Domestic Derek and Stiles, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Food, Gen, Married Couple, Mates, Pack Dynamics, Parody, Recipes, Spoof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2017-12-31 23:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyX/pseuds/LadyX, https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkyway/pseuds/milkyway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's face it, raw meat can be so BORING. Try these mouthwatering recipes which both werewolf and human can feast on and turn every mealtime into an occasion worth howling about!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Slow Roast Rabbit (In A Little Werewolf Oven)

 

“Derek,” Stiles mumbled, “it’s four in the morning!” 

“Sorry,” his mate grumbled as he got back under the covers. Despite his best efforts to be as quiet as possible, he’d tripped over a pair of Stiles’s sneakers on the way back to the bed when he had snuck back in through the window, earning himself a barrage of curses from the irritated human.

Stiles yawned and sniffed. “I guess I’m never going to get a good night’s rest on Full Moons,” he said resignedly.  “Congratulations, I’m awake now. But can’t you sleep in the guest room if it’s during the week?”

Derek whined and nuzzled the brunet. 

“Oh, God, okay. Yes, yes, yes. Raging hormones and inner wolf needing bonding yada yada yada. Do you need to ravage me _again_? Not that I mind, full moon sex is _awesome,_ but I’ve hardly slept at all and I have to wade through a whole pathology prac later without drowning myself in the formalin bucket…”

Derek chuckled and grabbed Stiles and spooned him. “It’s okay, my love,” he growled. “Can I just snuggle and maybe _nip_ you a bit…”

“ _Fine_ , Sourwolf. I’ll wear a collared shirt tomorrow just for you.”

“Stop complaining. I know you love it too.”

“Okay… _ow!_ Not so hard.”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. Full moon. Was it at perigee tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“No wonder you’ve been so moody the last few days…what’s that smell?”

Stiles turned around and saw a stain at the corner of his mate’s mouth. He noticed there were red smears on the werewolf’s stupidly buff chest as well. 

“What is that? _Blood_?”

“Maybe,” said Derek, sheepishly. 

“Yours?”

“No. Uh. Damn. Didn’t get all of it off.”

“Oh no, Derek, you didn’t seriously go and hunt something? We’ve been doing high protein for a long time now!”

Derek frowned. “It’s not like that… I… I…um, brought you something. I meant for you to find it in the morning, but…”

Stiles sat bolt upright. “ _No way_. Do I really need to know? Am I going to have nightmares for the rest of my life?”

Derek sighed. “I knew this wasn’t going to be a good idea…but it’s traditional for a werewolf to…”

“I’m going to regret this,” Stiles sighed, “but tell me anyway. I’ve got tranquillisers I can take just in case. Spill it.”

“So yeah, um, since you’re my mate, I brought you a… ahem… gift, to show that I can be a good provider…" 

“ _What kind of gift?_ Oh. My. _God.”_

“It’s more of a symbol…”

Stiles rolled his eyes and in spite of himself, patted Derek’s head. “Good boy, then, I guess,” he said. Derek growled at the dog joke, but not unpleasantly. “Please don’t tell me you brought it into the _house_ …" 

“I left it at the kitchen door.”

“Fine,” said Stiles, getting up. “I might as well have my big freakout now so I can go back to bed and get whatever rest I can before I spend a whole morning pondering the delights of the abdominal cavity.”

He shuffled down the stairs while Derek blew out his cheeks. This was probably not going to end well. But he had followed the old ritual anyway.

His wolf demanded it.

Stiles’s shriek was decidedly girly and ricocheted through the house. Derek knew better than to race down, it would be better for Stiles to calm down first.

Sure enough, he heard his mate storm back up the stairs.

“A _bunny_ , Derek, really? Which you murdered where?”

Derek shrugged. “It’s a traditional gift for new mates. There’s loads of them in the woods. I haven’t made anything extinct.”

“And how do I know it didn’t suffer?”

Derek flashed Stiles a grin of razor sharp fangs.

“Never mind,” the human said, rolling his eyes. 

“So, um,” said Derek. “Is it…” 

“Does it meet with my approval? Well. Um. Nobody’s ever given me a dead animal before as a gift. I guess it’s a good… er… specimen, but what do I do with it? It’s not like I can just chew on it like you can…”

“Not like that. Ever had roast rabbit?”

“No, but I think I’m going to later today.”

“It’s very nice,” said Derek, resting his head on his arms. “I have my grandmother’s recipe.” 

“I’m _not_ skinning and gutting it,” said Stiles, scowling as he got back into bed. 

*

That evening, in spite of himself, Stiles cleaned his plate, and kinda wished Derek had caught more than one rabbit. As Derek poured them each another glass of wine, Stiles chuckled to himself.

_This one’s definitely a keeper._  

*

 

** Slow Roasted Rabbit (In a Little Werewolf Oven) **

 

1 rabbit, cut into 6 to 8 portions

1/2 cup olive oil

1 rabbit, cut into 6 to 8 portions

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

15 medium-size mushrooms, quartered or sliced

2 shallots, minced

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

Pinch dried thyme

Pinch dried parsley

1 bay leaf

1 cup tomato sauce

1 cup red burgundy wine

1 to 2 cups beef broth

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F / 180 degrees C

To a large warmed skillet over medium heat, add 1/4 cup of olive oil. Sprinkle the rabbit with salt and pepper, to taste. Add the rabbit to the hot oil and brown on both sides. Remove the rabbit to a medium-size casserole dish.

In that same skillet, over medium heat, add more olive oil. Add the mushrooms and shallots and saute for about 2 minutes. Transfer the mushroom mixture to the casserole. Sprinkle the flour, thyme, parsley and the bay leaf over the rabbit and stir in the tomato sauce, wine, and the beef broth. You may add a pinch more of salt and pepper if you wish. 

Cover with foil and put in the oven to bake until the rabbit is tender, stirring every hour, about 2 to 3 hours. Rabbit meat should pull off easily from the bone with a fork. Remove from the oven and serve.


	2. Bambi Can Be Quite Delicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is overwhelmed when Derek brings him a large and unexpected gift on the eve of a very important pack meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The recipe at the end of the story is milkyway's own family speciality, brought from India by the author's father.  
> Big ups to Fanfictionreader for giving me the idea for this chapter!

"It's _ruined_!"  

Stiles was scowling at the burnt offering smoking on the stove in front of him.

"I'm sure it's not _that_ bad," said Derek gently, trying to calm his mate down. "Let me see." 

The werewolf cautiously brought a teaspoon of the disaster to his lips, and then promptly screwed his face up with disgust and spat it out dramatically. 

"I'm so furious with myself," said Stiles, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter. "I should have turned down the gas when the phone rang," he babbled. "Damn these hysterical mothers. Of course the kid's going to be a bit tetchy after its immunizations. I mean its temperature was up by 0.5 of a degree. Took me _twenty minutes_ to calm her down and convince her it's okay, she can give some Tylenol and bring it into the ER if she's worried, but no, she'd rather give some homeopathic tincture here granola friends have recommended and would I know if this could all be the start of mercury poisoning? There's no fucking Thiomersal in vaccinations any more!"

"Sorry, babe," Derek said, rubbing Stiles's shoulder. He knew from eight years of being together all the younger man needed was for him to listen and make him a cup of tea.

"I think you need a rest. You've been running around all day. I'll sort all this out." 

"How?" Stiles cried, throwing up his arms. "Tomorrow is the annual pack meeting; _everyone's_ going to be there. And we've got a visiting Alpha to entertain. There's not enough meat!"

"Stop worrying," Derek crooned, hugging Stiles and kissing the brunet's cheek. "Come," he said, yanking him by the arm as if he were a small child. "I'm going to draw you a bath and bring you some tea while you soak. And then you take a nap while I clean everything up and see what I can do."

Stiles relaxed a bit ad managed a small smile as Derek led him up the stairs. "Did I mention that you're the sweetest, kindest, nicest werewolf I've ever known?"

"I try," said Derek, smirking, as they got into the bathroom and started running Stiles a bath.

Stiles didn't protest as Derek insisted on taking off the brunet's clothes himself. Despite priding himself on his fierce independence, he liked it when Derek fussed over him. As he lay back in the warm water he zoned out, forgetting momentarily about the cloud of acrid black smoke that had signalled the ruin of the curry he'd been nursing for a whole day.

He was out within minutes as he got into bed. He had a strange dream of Derek running in the forest being chased after by none other than Julia Child with a meat cleaver and a large Le Creuset saucepan.  

It was dark when he got up and shuffled groggily down the stairs. He'd slept for about four hours, and was feeling much calmer. It would have to be lasagne or something for tomorrow night. At least he'd be able to get some mincemeat from the butcher at the last moment.

He heard a strangle rustling noise in the back garden. Stiles frowned and walked out of the kitchen door. 

Stiles legs went wobbly, and he shrieked.

"Oh. My. _God,_ " he said after he'd just saved himself from faceplanting onto the ground. He stared unbelieving at the grisly tableau in front of him.

Derek was covered in blood, bent over the body of a large stag. Its throat was slashed and its neck had clearly been broken. 

"What the fuck? _YOU KILLED BAMBI!_ "

"Oh, hi," said Derek sheepishly, waving a clawed hand at his mate. "I think I solved our meat problem." 

"At least tell me it didn't suffer," Stiles said breathlessly.

Derek wiped his sweaty brow with a sticky red hand, making him look even more terrifying. "It didn't. I'm not cruel. It was instant." 

"And you _carried_ it here? It's huge!" 

Derek shrugged. "You said you needed lots of meat." 

Stiles started giggling hysterically. "My husband is a bloodthirsty deer killer. Help."

"Hey," Derek said, pouting. "I'm not bloodthirsty. So. Can you cook with this?" 

"Venison?" said Stiles, cautiously walking over to the body and turning his nose up as the smell of fresh blood hit him in the face. "I guess... I guess so."

Stiles was pretty used to Derek doing the odd bit of hunting on Full Moons, but this trumped even the Great Christmas Turkey Massacre of two years ago. 

"Would, say, fifteen pounds be enough?"

"Holy shit! Yes. I'll need it... cubed." 

"No problem," said Derek. "Could you get me the axe?"

"Fine. But I'm _not_ helping you chop it up. I'll barf."  

"You're a doctor."

"And I work in sterile conditions under theatre lights with clean green drapes. I _swear_ , Derek, I'll hurl all over you." 

Derek chuckled. "Okay. I'll call for reinforcements."

"Please don't tell me you're going to feast on the raw liver with Fava beans and a nice Chianti?" 

"That's one of the best parts!" Derek said innocently. "And Merlot is better."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," said Stiles, walking towards the shed to fetch the axe while Derek fished his cellphone out of his pocket and started dialling. 

  
* 

Stiles tried to drown out the sickening thuds outside as he immersed himself in his PlayStation game, turning up the volume of Dvorak's _Dumky Trio_ in E minor as background music.  

"Can I join you?" said a familiar voice behind him. Stiles turned around and saw Scott, who was drying his blood-smeared hands with a paper towel. "Your husband ordered me to come check on you." 

"Hey," said Stiles.  

"Are you okay?" said his best friend, pressing a beer into Stiles's hands. 

The brunet sighed. "Yeah. I kind of freaked out when I came down and saw the dead deer in the garden. And Derek... I've never seen him looking so... so _wild_ , you know?" 

Scott nodded. "I would have been freaked too. I've never hunted something that big. Derek's beating himself up about upsetting you."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "He's such a puppy sometimes. I explode about things and then forget about it. I guess he was just trying to be a good mate. I mean, he _is_ a good mate. The best. I've never known someone so generous. I just wish he didn't feel he has to do everything for me, like I'm some fucking damsel in distress."

Scott put his arm around his friend and drew him in close, nuzzling his neck and ruffling his hair. It was an intimate, brotherly gesture that Stiles often found amusing, but always deeply touching. Stiles knew that after Allison, Scott loved him more than anything else in the world.

"It'll be okay, buddy," said the young Alpha. "You and Derek are the awesomest couple I know. Allison was just saying yesterday how in love you two still are after all these years."

"I know, I know," said Stiles, squeezing Scott's shoulder. "He's never had anyone show him how to be an Alpha. Thinks he has to be Superwolf 24/7."

"Comes with the territory," said Scott. "Allison frequently has to tell me to calm down when I try to solve everything." 

"Your wife and I should start a support group for Alpha mates," Stiles said, chuckling. "So. Anyway. You guys done with your Texas Chainsaw bit outside?" 

"Yup. Skinned, cleaned, chopped up. Isaac's busy cubing all the meat in the kitchen as we speak. And Derek said he'll put it in the yoghurt and lemon marinade for you so long."

"They didn't have to do all that. What did you do with the offal?" said Stiles. 

Scott whined. "Um... we ate the liver... couldn't help it, it's _delicious_..."

Stiles tried not to retch. "Okay, I walked into that one. What did you do with the heart? I heard that's like very special."

"Oh, I put it in the fridge. It's a werewolf delicacy, but it's Derek's."

"Delicacy, eh? I have an idea."

Stiles whispered into Scott's ear as he heard Derek shuffle into the kitchen, and Scott smiled, giving him the thumbs up.

 

 

 

*

 

The dinner was a riotous success. Human and werewolf made short work of several casserole dishes full of the delicious rogan josh. 

"Grandma would have been so proud," said the Sheriff, patting his son on the back. 

The Sheriff's mother had brought back several treasured recipes when she travelled through India as a young student, and it was clear from everybody's full tummies that Stiles had done the family secret justice. 

"I'm very impressed," Declan said. He was a greying, portly man in his sixties, the Alpha of an old pack in Montana, who was visiting Northern California. He had decided to take a detour to Beacon Hills to check out the modern vision of the Hale-McCall pack. They were now famous throughout North America for being one of the most integrated packs in history, ruled democratically, while also being one of the most powerful. "This is the most delicious meal I've ever had," he said. "I'd keep a close eye on your mate, Derek," he joked, "I'd steal him in a second."

"You'd have to pry him from my cold, dead, cadaverous hands," Derek replied with a smirk. Stiles rolled his eyes, while Scott winked at his friend. 

"Well, this was an amazing meal with a truly extraordinary group of people," Declan mused. "I've learnt a lot, and shall be bringing back a whole lot of new ideas when I return to Montana. It's time werewolves left behind medieval attitudes and embraced the future."

"You're most welcome," said Derek, bowing his head.

"Anyway, I should be getting back to my hotel," Declan said, getting up. "Thank you again for your kindness and hospitality." 

"I think we should make tracks too," said Scott to the rest of the pack. "I think Derek and Stiles deserve some quiet time."

After the pack had said goodbye to each other in the usual flurry of nuzzling and hugging, Stiles settled back into his chair at the dining room table and poured himself and Derek the last bit of the Beaujolais Lydia and Jackson had brought.

"You are incredible," said Derek, gazing dreamily into the brunet's hazel eyes. "How do you do it, my love?"

"I don't know. I like looking after you. After us, I guess. I know it's tough being an Alpha. Even if there are two Alphas in this pack." 

"It's even tougher being an Alpha's mate. You're actually the most important member of the pack, you know. You keep us all together."

"I really didn't mean to freak you out," Derek continued, looking away 

"I'm sorry I overreacted," Stiles countered. "I just got overwhelmed. Silly, timid human, I guess."

" _No_ ," said Derek, a little too forcefully. "Don't ever put yourself down like that. Your humanity is a sacred thing. It must have been disturbing, seeing me like that. I probably looked like a monster."

"You're not a monster, Sillywolf," Stiles said, smiling. "I know you were trying to help. And you did. It was kind of awesome."

"What you did with the deer was awesome. I wish there were more... it was _fantastic_."

Stiles glugged down his wine and got up. "You stay here. I have a little something for you." 

Derek stared quizzically as he saw his husband carrying in the tray. 

" _Voilà_ ," he said, placing the dish in front of him. 

Derek raised his eyebrows and his jaw dropped open. 

"Is that...?" 

"Yup. Slow roasted stag heart in a red wine and cranberry reduction. Scott told me you'd like it." 

"You have no idea how much I love you right now. This is... this is... _very_ special, Stiles. It's one of the most special gifts someone can give to their mate."

"I know," said Stiles. "I read it in the Codex. I'm not a big offal eater so I got Isaac to taste it... I basically adapted a recipe of my mom's for lamb shank, but, he said it was good..."

Derek stared in awe at his mate and, trembling, took a piece.

"Oh my God," he said, closing his eyes.The wolf was practically having an orgasm in his mouth.

"Like it?" 

"It's perfect. You sure you don't want some?"

"I'll pass," he said. "I'll have some more of the brie and crackers." 

Derek ate in silence, a blissful expression on his face. When he had finished, he got up and tugged at Stiles's arm, who had started clearing up the plates from the table.

"Stop that," he said. "That can wait till tomorrow. And _I'll_ do it. Right now, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

Stiles raised an eyebrow, and then saw his mates eyes glow red and his fangs lengthen ever so slightly.

" _Oh._ Yes. Definitely." 

In a second, the werewolf had scooped him up in his arms and was running up the stairs to their bedroom, delirious with lust.

Stiles laughed as Derek pinned him to the bed.

_You didn't die in vain, Bambi_ , he thought with a wicked little grin.

  

 

** ROGAN JOSH **

 

A typical North Indian dish that can be made from most meats. Lamb is classic, but venison is a delicious and healthy alternative. 

Serves 4

 

1 kg (2 lbs) venison, lamb or beef, cubed

500 ml plain low fat Bulgarian or Greek yoghurt

juice of 1/2 lemon

1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger

1 large onion, finely chopped

2 cans chopped or pureed tomatoes

2 tablespoons tomato paste

1 - 2 small red chilli peppers, finely chopped

1 teaspoon ground coriander

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1-2 teaspoons medium curry powder (or rogan josh mix if available) to taste

2 tablespoons clarified butter or cooking oil (preferably peanut oil)

 

 

1\. Combine the raw meat and yoghurt in a bowl and add the lemon juice, lemon zest and about a third of the garlic. Cover and marinade for at least 6 hours in the fridge, or ideally, overnight.

2\. In a large cast iron casserole, heat the oil. Fry the onions and the rest of the garlic under low heat until translucent. Add the ginger, chillies, coriander, cumin and curry powder and stir thoroughly. Bring up the heat and add the meat and yoghurt mixture, mixing well to ensure the meat is browned. Add the tomato paste and pureed / chopped tomatoes and bring to the boil.

3\. Simmer under low heat for at least an hour until tender - some recipes call for about three or four hours under very low heat, but check it regularly and stir well as it burns very easily!

4\. Serve with basmati rice, naan bread, fresh garden salad and a selection of the following _sambals_ (traditional Indian side-dishes)

\- Sliced bananas

\- Peanuts

\- Lime pickle (can be bought in speciality shops)

\- Fruit chutney

\- Chopped fresh chillies (for adding extra heat)

\- Chopped onion and tomato splashed with vinegar

\- Fresh coriander leaves

\- Desiccated coconut

A good chilled rosé wine or light red goes very well with curry, as does beer.

 

Hints: 

 

\- For maximum flavour, prepare the dish the day before and leave to stand overnight in the fridge.

\- To prepare clarified butter, melt butter in a saucepan and then strain through a muslin cloth. 

\- Blanching sliced bananas with hot water prevents them from browning.

\- The seeds are the hottest part of the chilli pepper. For a milder curry, remove the seeds and use only the chopped fleshy part of the chilli.


	3. Shut Up And Eat Your Greens!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia uses Jackson as a lab rat to perfect her gazpacho recipe, while Derek and Stiles discover the perfect way to serve salad to werewolves.

 

**Werewolf Nutrition 101: On Vegetables**

 

Surprise. Werewolves are not meant to be strict carnivores. Even wild wolves have been known to snack on berries, and dogs do well with a bit of carbohydrate and vegetables in their diet. However, not many werewolves _like_ fruit and vegetables (my husband being an exception). Also, the human digestive system is not meant to cope on meat alone. Fibre is important. 

The trick is to become creative at hiding vegetables. Stews and bolognaise are great for this, and we have the French to thank for the amazing creation that is Salade Niçoise which transforms an ordinary salad into a protein extravaganza while maintaining all its greeny goodness.

All vegetables that are fit for human consumption are suitable for werewolves. However, they share an almost universal distaste for Brussels sprouts and cilantro. This is distinct from what dogs can eat safely. Dogs should _never_ be given onions or avocado as these contain toxins that they cannot process. (A little garlic is good for them though, and bananas are a good snack.)

Newly bitten werewolves can be quite difficult to convince about eating their greens, but hopefully, the following recipes will be helpful. Try and get them to eat at least something plant-based before they go all-out on a Full Moon so that they don't get meat-bloat, a typical side-effect of new werewolves trying to cram as much meat into their newly-developed systems. It presents as a day-long saga of stomach cramps, lethargy and grumpiness. Not much helps except time, although ginger and lemon tea helps the worst of the cramps. 

Chilled tomato gazpacho is the only dish presented here that does not contain meat, but it is particularly flavoursome and can be partnered with steak tartare or beef carpaccio for a delicious summer entrée. I have yet to meet a werewolf that was not enchanted by the combination.

Happy cooking!

\- Stiles

 

*

"Holy fuck, that's hot!"

Jackson whined and ran to the tap, furiously glugging down a glass of cold water. He grabbed his mouth in horror as his tongue and palate burst into new chemical flames. 

"Ow!"

"Baby, drinking water only makes the burn worse," said Lydia, rolling her eyes. "Now do you think I got the right amount of garlic this time?"

" _How the hell am I supposed to know that?_ " cried her boyfriend, now wolfed-out and eyes burning amber. "My whole mouth is on fire!"

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic," said the strawberry blonde, consulting the cookbook again. "It's just a little bit of chilli pepper."

"Demon... possessed... chilli... peppers," he said, panting. Gradually his face returned to its human form, and the burn calmed down.

"I'm only trying to keep everyone's Vitamin C levels up," she said. "Besides, capsaicin is good for you." 

"Yeah," he said sarcastically, "as long as you keep a supply of toilet rolls in the freezer for later."

"You are disgusting," Lydia said. "We should have gone to the lab to use the mass spectrometer, so I could ensure all the nutrients were perfect for werewolf physiology. You don't mind giving another blood sample, do you? I could send it off right now.../ 

" _Lydia!_ " Jackson cried, exasperated. "It's just soup, not a nuclear isotope!"

"Stiles has been complaining that there's not enough fresh fruit and vegetables served at pack meetings. This is tasty. And we'll serve it with steak tartare so no-one can complain about the lack of meat."

"Tasty. Perhaps if you removed the chillies from Hell. Really, we could get my parent's chef to cater."

"Do you honestly think the pack is going to settle for minute portions of pretentious food porn? Derek hacked up a _deer_ at the last meeting. And we all finished Stiles's curry." 

"I know," said her boyfriend. "And I had some of the raw liver beforehand. It was wonderful."

"Ugh," she said. "Let's try again. And okay, I'll tone down the chilli. I'm just going to have to use more lemon juice. I'm _not_ going to be responsible for you all getting scurvy and your fangs falling out or something."

Jackson snorted. His girlfriend was actually cooking with glass beakers and test-tubes and wearing latex gloves. And, of course, doing it in a mini-skirt and a pair of Manolo Blahniks. 

“Let’s try again,” said Lydia. “Could you be a dear and grate those cucumbers? Eyeliner emergency.”

Jackson sighed and grabbed the grater. This was _not_ what he expected when Lydia had called him and asked him to help her with a little something.

An hour later, Lydia brought a spoon of Batch Number 7 to her mouth and nodded approvingly, after noticing that Jackson had not (1) run away howling, (2) screwed up his face in disgust or (3) wolfed out and murdered a tomato. 

“Perfect,” she said. “Now you can have a treat. There’s some raw prime beef in the fridge. I’m going to teach you how to make steak tartare.”

 

*

 

“Are you sure this is going to work?” asked Derek, as Stiles plonked the crate of vegetables on the kitchen counter.

“It had better,” said his mate. “Pack dinners are awesome, but I go into protein shock every time I have that amount of meat. It’s time everyone ate healthily.”

“That’s going to be a challenge. Especially for Scott and Isaac.”

“Tell me about it. I used to win lots of bets that Scott wouldn’t be able to finish his spinach or carrots when we were little. He’d actually bribe me to eat his vegetables when his mom wasn’t looking. I used to make off with much of his allowance."

“You’re such a little shit,” said Derek, punching him affectionately on the shoulder. He turned around. “Oh, Lydia and Jackson are here.”

“Hello boys,” she said as she walked into Derek and Stiles’s kitchen, carrying a bottle of wine. Jackson followed behind her, waving a nonchalant hello.

“This is for you,” Lydia said, giving Derek a peck on the cheek.

“Sancerre? My favourite. You shouldn’t have.”

“Actually, Jackson shouldn’t have. We stole it from his dad’s wine cellar. Now be a good Alpha and pour us all a glass. I’m _dying_ for some.”

Stiles burst out laughing, while Jackson shrugged.

“I trust this will meet with your approval?” the brunet asked the strawberry blonde, pointing to the crate of vegetables he’d gathered from their garden. 

“Fantastic,” she said, perusing the selection and nodding. 

“If you get Scott to eat it, you will officially have trounced me,” said Stiles, grinning. “I just don’t know how we’re going to get everyone to eat salad. I have four heads of butter lettuce that are going to go to waste, and Derek and I can’t eat them all.”

“How about a Niçoise?” said Derek, handing out glasses. “My grandmother used to make that. Best way to hide greens. Tuna and eggs and anchovies. I know there’s a recipe in your Julia Child recipe book, Stiles, I saw it some time ago when I was looking something up.”

“I have mine with caviar,” said Jackson, shrugging, but he didn’t sound as if he were showing off. Caviar and champagne came naturally to the young beta, and, to his credit, he of late shared these things with everybody. He’d even let Stiles drive his Porsche recently, much to Derek’s horror.

“That’s an excellent idea for an entrée!” said Stiles. “Except we’re out of eggs. And probably anchovies too.”

“What a pity,” said Lydia, and then turned around and looked at Jackson. “Perhaps some kind soul would go and get the ingredients.” She batted her eyelids at her boyfriend.

“ _Fine_ ,” he said with an exasperated sigh. “And I’m getting some beer on the way back. What do you need, Stiles?”

Stiles grabbed his copy of _Mastering The Art of French Cooking_ and found the recipe. He jotted down a makeshift shopping list and pressed it into the beta's hand.

Jackson shuffled out muttering to himself. As his Porsche drove off, Stiles clinked glasses with Lydia and Derek. 

“So,” he said. “Are you going to start with this perfect gazpacho recipe of yours?”

“Not quite,” she said. “I’m going to have more wine and supervise you boys. I would chop the vegetables myself, but, you know, _manicure_.”

Stiles shot Derek a weary look, who just grinned and put on an apron.

An hour later, they were pouring the rich red melange into bowls to chill when Jackson came in, his arms heavy with paper bags.

“Good grief,” said Stiles, “did you go shopping for Armageddon?”

“They had good things at the Farmer’s Market,” he said, panting and setting down the bags. “Just need to fetch one more thing,” he added, nipping back out again.

Lydia giggled hysterically as she saw him carefully carrying the little basket into the kitchen. 

“What in God’s name are you doing?”

“You asked for eggs.”

“Holy shit!” said Stiles, lifting up the covers. About two dozen _blue_ eggs were in the basket.

“Duck eggs,” said Jackson. “Apparently they’re the best for Niçoise.”

“He’s right,” Derek piped up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table thumbing through a copy of _The New Yorker_. “The yolks are much creamier.”  

“And where did you get them? You look like Little Red Riding Wolf. Oh my God. You stole them from the farm next door!”

“I did not!” he said petulantly. 

“Oh really?” said Stiles with a wicked grin. “So those four murdered chickens you brought for us last month were just a coincidence?”

“That was a one-time thing,” the jock said sheepishly. “It was Full Moon and I hadn’t had dinner. They’d escaped from the farm so I thought it was fair game.”

“Egg-stealer!” Stiles taunted. “Chicken killer! Whittemore is a closet fox!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“What, are you going to tell me I went and caught the tuna myself last week when I went surfing?”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” said Stiles. “But no, I’m just messing with you.”

“Will you shut the fuck up if I give you a beer? I’ve worked my butt off today. I even got homemade mayonnaise and it nearly spilled on the leather seats.”

“I see we’re having a first-world problem,” said Lydia, not looking up from where she was texting Allison. “Why don’t you boys settle your testosterone levels and get to work on this Niçoise.”

“Fine,” said Jackson. “But I’m not done, Stilinski. Afterwards, grab your old lacrosse gear. You and me.”

“How do I know you’re not going to use your werewolf powers, Abercrombie Wolf?”

“I’ll take some wolfsbane tincture, that’s how much I love your irritating little ass. Wouldn’t want my Alpha getting pissed off that I might hurt his mate." 

“Fine, honeybunch,” said Stiles, baring his teeth with a little smile. After several years, the two of them had an almost-friendship. They even bought each other birthday presents and nuzzled hello at pack meetings. 

“ _Guys_ ,” said Derek wearily. “Stop the pigtail-pulling already and have a frigging drink.”

 

  
* 

The evening was an unequivocal success. Although Scott couldn’t pronounce “gazpacho”, he had three bowls of the stuff. The steak tartare was, well, wolfed down in a few minutes. The Niçoise was the pièce de résistance. When they saw Isaac was dipping the lettuce in the anchovy mayonnaise to get the last bits, Jackson and Stiles grinned at each other and knew that there wasn’t going to be any scurvy epidemic in the Hale-McCall pack anytime soon.

Derek beamed at his pack, and wondered proudly to himself whether there were any other packs who had gourmet cookouts. Even if the duck egg Niçoise may or may not have been acquired under unconventional means.

 

 

** Lydia Martin's Gazpacho No. 7 **

 

6 ripe tomatoes, peeled and chopped

1 purple onion, finely chopped

1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, chopped

1 sweet red bell pepper (or green) seeded and chopped (use chillies for a hotter option)

2 stalks celery, chopped

1-2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley

2 Tbsp chopped fresh chives

2 clove garlic, minced

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 cup olive oil

2 Tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice

2 teaspoons sugar

Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

6 or more drops of Tabasco sauce to taste

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (omit for vegetarian option)

4 cups tomato juice

 

 METHOD

Combine all ingredients. Blend slightly, to desired consistency. Place in non-metal, non-reactive storage container, cover tightly and refrigerate overnight, allowing flavors to blend.

 

 

** Steak Tartare à la Whittemore **

 

NB Use only the freshest prime beef, checked by werewolves to ensure safety. 

 

3 medium oil-packed anchovy fillets (optional, adjust salt if added), rinsed and minced

2 teaspoons brined capers, drained and rinsed

3 teaspoons Dijon mustard

2 large egg yolks

10 ounces USDA prime beef tenderloin, cut into small dice, covered, and refrigerated

2 tablespoons finely chopped red onion

2 tablespoons finely chopped Italian parsley leaves

4 teaspoons olive oil

3 dashes hot sauce (such as Tabasco)

4 dashes Worcestershire sauce

3/4 teaspoon crushed chile flakes (optional)

 

METHOD

Combine anchovies (if using), capers, and mustard in a nonreactive bowl. Using a fork or the back of a spoon, mash ingredients until evenly combined; mix in egg yolks.

Use a rubber spatula to fold remaining ingredients into mustard mixture until thoroughly combined. Season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Serve immediately with toast points or french fries. 

For added style serve each portion with a raw quail egg for dipping and caviar on the side. 

 

 

** Julia Child's Salade Niçoise (as modified by Derek Hale) **

 

6 very fresh eggs (duck eggs are the best, but hen's eggs are fine)

6 to 8 red-skinned or yukon gold potatoes, of a uniform, medium size (2-inch diameter)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 pound very fresh, crisp, young, string-less green beans

2 tablespoons salt

1 tablespoon finely minced shallots or scallions

1/3 cup dry white wine

1/3 cup cold water

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

3 to 4 tablespoons excellent olive oil

1 large head Boston lettuce

Oil and Lemon Dressing, recipe follows

3 to 4 ripe red tomatoes quartered through the stem or 12 to 16 ripe full-flavored cherry tomatoes halved through the stem

1 (2-ounce) can or bottle anchovy fillets packed in olive oil

1 (8-ounce) can oil-packed chunk white tuna, drained

Fresh lemon juice

1 cup good mayonnaise

2 tablespoons capers (fine fat ones if possible)

1/2 cup small Italian or French black olives, pits in, and packed in brine

Fresh parsley sprigs

METHOD

With a push pin, pierce the large ends of eggs to release the air bubble, which otherwise can expand during cooking, cracking the egg shell. Into a 3-quart sauce pan place the eggs. Pour in 2 1/2 quarts of cold water. Bring just to the rolling boil, remove from heat, cover the pan closely, and set the timer for 17 minutes.

Transfer the eggs to a bowl of ice cubes and water, and let cool for 2 minutes (to shrink the egg body from the shell) while you bring the egg water back to the boil. Then transfer the eggs back into the boiling water and let boil for exactly 10 seconds (to expand the shell from the egg body).

At once, and 1 by 1, tap an egg gently all over on a hard surface to crack the shell and starting at the large end, peel under a thin stream of cold water. Return it to the iced water, and continue with the rest. Let them chill a good 20 minutes in the iced water. Rapid cooling helps prevent the dark line between yolk and white.

Always store hard-boiled eggs in the refrigerator, submerged in ice water in an uncovered container, where they will keep perfectly 3 to 4 days.

Scrub the potatoes under running water with a vegetable brush, and place in a steamer basket over a saucepan containing 2 inches of water. Bring to the boil, lower heat to moderate, cover closely, and steam about 20 minutes or until cooked through, be sure they are really cooked through, cut one in half and taste carefully. Peel while still hot, halve them, cut into slices 1/4-inch thick.

In a 2-quart bowl, combine salt, shallots, wine, and water. Lift the potatoes gently into a the 2-quart bowl. Using a bulb baster, so as not to break the slices, baste the potatoes with the liquid. Taste for seasoning adding more salt, if needed, grinds of pepper, and several spoonfuls of the olive oil. Baste several times as the potatoes cool.

Bring 6 quarts of water to the boil. Wash and drain the green beans, then snap off both ends. Add 2 tablespoons of salt to the boiling water and drop the beans into the kettle. Cover the kettle for a moment, just until it boils again. Uncover at once and boil slowly (moderate bubbles) for 3 to 4 minutes. The beans are done when just cooked through; taste one to be sure... just tender with the slightest crunch. Drain immediately. At once return the beans to the kettle and run cold water into it to cool the beans rapidly, adding a tray or two of ice cubes if you have them. When chilled, in 5 minutes or so, drain again, dry in a clean towel, and refrigerate in a covered bowl until ready to assemble salad.

Separate the lettuce leaves, wash, and spin dry. Shortly before serving so that all elements will remain at their freshest, toss the lettuce leaves in a large bowl with just enough dressing to coat them. Taste the potatoes, adding a little more seasoning if necessary. Halve the eggs. Toss the green beans with a spoonful of the dressing. Lightly salt the cut surfaces of the tomatoes and dribble over a little dressing. Open and drain the anchovies, separating them with a form. Drain the canned tuna, flake gently, and season with lemon juice and pepper. Arrange the largest lettuce leaves nicely around the sides of the serving bowl or platter, and make a bed of the remaining leaves in the center, where you will pile the potatoes. Place the egg yolks against the lower part of the potatoes, spoon a dollop of mayonnaise over each yolk, and decorate with crossed strips of anchovies and a sprinkling of capers. Divide the beans, tomatoes, and tuna into 6 portions, and place at strategic intervals around the potatoes.

Survey the platter, scattering black olives and tucking parsley springs wherever needed. Serve as soon as possible.

 

Oil and Lemon Dressing:

1/2 lemon, zested and juiced (at least 1 tablespoon)

1/4 teaspoon salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1/2 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1/2 tablespoon finely minced shallots or scallions

1/2 cup excellent olive oil

Grate the lemon peel into a screw-top jar, add the salt, several grinds of pepper, mustard, minced shallots, and 1 tablespoon lemon juice. Shake well to blend, then pour in the oil and shake vigorously again. Taste for seasoning, adding more lemon, salt and pepper if needed.

 Yield: about 2/3 cup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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